Today, I want to encourage you to have fun by expanding your dreams (as in your wishes and desires, not what happens while you’re sleeping).

Children naturally have endless imagination and dreams. Educators have confirmed through research that those children who take part in more imaginary play have increased confidence and problem-solving skills. That’s why too much television or device time is detrimental to children; it eliminates their need to imagine, to dream. Not to mention that device use creates additions!

Dreams and doubts are forms of thought and opinion, not fact. But as people grow up, many of them lose the childlike ability to imagine what might be possible. They become more pragmatic, and hide behind the adult notion of being more “realistic.”

Dreams are hindered by doubt; so, for this moment, I am asking you to take a journey of dreams—your dreams—and to fight off any doubt that might rear its ugly head.

Dreams attract opportunities; doubt repels them.

For this very instant, assume there are no limits or restrictions on your dreams or your resources to achieve them.

First, dreams—your dreams—are your birthright; you need to own your dreams. Over the past couple of decades, I have discovered that dreams are very personal, and people don’t usually hold on to dreams that they cannot achieve. Give yourself credit that your dreams are really your desires and that they are possible!

To get you in the right frame of mind, read this poem by 13th-century poet Rumi.

You were born with potential.
You were born with trust.
You were born with ideals and dreams.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You were not meant for crawling, so don’t.
You have wings. Learn to use them to fly.

Dreams can assume the forms of doing, being, and having.

If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

1. What have you not done that you would like to do? Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Travel: Where would you like to go that you have never been?
• Activities: What new activity would you like to do?
• Accomplishments: Would you like to write a book, a song, a play, etc.? Volunteer? Become an advocate? Go back to school or start a new business?

Stop, think, and dream about them now.

2. What would you like to be, by developing yourself to become a better, more complete, and fulfilled person?

• What areas of knowledge would you like to acquire?
• What skills would you like to develop?
• What disciplines would you like to master?
• What can you do to be more healthy and fit?

Stop, think, and dream about those things now.

3. What would you like to have? The options are endless when it comes to physical and material items. Just make sure you are thinking about your dreams, not the ones placed upon you by other people or society.

Now, believe you already have achieved your dreams. Reflect on how this feels. Do you really want each dream to become reality? If you do, keep it. If not, let it go.

Stop, think about, and visualize your third list now. Remember, you can’t fail.

Take the time to write out your dream list. Review it often. Update it, refine it, and expand it.

You’ll find that the more you do dream, the more you will dream. Abundance begets abundance. If you think this approach is too over-the-top and you’re finding it challenging to accept, here’s your homework:

1) Engage as many individuals as possible in the next week and encourage them in their own dreams.
2) Support them, even in their simplest desires.
3) Pay attention to how that simple act of kindness can spur you to own your own dreams.

One of the greatest gifts that you can give others is for you to continually expand your dreams and your thinking; that encourages others to do the same. When you help others embrace their dreams, you will discover that yours will expand, too.

This Week’s Action Steps

1. Consider whether you are inspired by your dreams, or your doubt.
2. Dare to dream—doubt and dreams rarely occupy the same space.
3. Think about what dreams you would embrace if you knew failure was not an option. What dreams have you given up that you need to revive?
4. Make a list of all the things you would do, be, or have. To make your list, review the details provided earlier in this newsletter.
5. Imagine, for a moment, that your dreams are happening. How does that make you feel? Can you notice your increased energy and inspiration?
6. Write out your dream list. Review it often; give yourself permission to continue to refine and update it.
7. Make sure that everything on your dream list is really yours. If you have no positive emotions toward a dream, ensure it’s your dream and not something that society or someone else has influenced you to “want.” If it is not your dream, please remove it from your list.
8. Step out and help others embrace their dreams if you ever feel doubt about your own. Encouraging others in their dreams and desires is a gift that will bless them and benefit you in your own journey.
9. Remember: Dreams are not just for children; they are for everyone—including you!
10. If you are unsure about your calling, purpose or desires consider our online course The Quest For Purpose where I will take you step-by-step through a process to help you determine, confirm and live out your dreams.

According to science and research, most of us live 95% to 97% of our lives on autopilot . . . we don’t consciously think about many of the things we are doing each day.

Some of you might be surprised by that number.

Let’s reflect on this for a moment.

• You got up this morning.
• Did you follow the same routine you had done for months and years, not varying it at all?
• Did you even think about what you did first?

Just this morning, my sequence of events happened as it does every single morning: Get up, visit the washroom, take a multivitamin, turn on the podcast, shave, shower, and dress—breakfast 9 times out of 10 consists of consuming the same items in identical order.

Where is the intentionality in our routines if we don’t even think about what we are doing anymore? Have you ever arrived at a location in your vehicle, then thought, how did I get here? Some of you drove to work today and did not think about your route.

The point is that most of our life is lived according to our autopilot, our subconscious minds, rather than through any intentionality (proactive thinking) on our part!

To be intentional is to knowingly choose your direction and shake up the routine occasionally to get your conscious mind working.

Some teach that we should have routines to lessen the burden of all the choices we have to make, and there is some truth to that strategy.

But what happens when we allow our routines to run our lives rather than intentionally engaging them? Autopilot costs us lost opportunities, or it may take us completely off course, landing us at a destination we have not envisioned or planned. That happens when we don’t consciously or intentionally take over from our autopilot — a sin of omission.

Your life can be negatively affected by what you don’t do as much as what you do.

A few years ago, I took charge of my health and wellness, which had fallen into disrepair. After I chose to get intentional with my health, I set a new direction, changed my routine, and lost nearly 40 pounds. Scroll ahead 3 years to where I injured myself playing hockey, which forced me to miss my workouts for a couple of months. I gained 10 pounds right away and didn’t return to working out.

It took a new level of intentionality on my part to get back on track. I can credit my wife, Brenda, for some friendly competition she secretly trained and surprised me by running a 10K race. Yes, I was proud of her, but my competitive side said, if she can do this, so can I!

So, , I stepped up my efforts and began to follow a 10K training schedule. The workout had something different every day, making it challenging and far more enjoyable than repeating the same workout routine each session. My new enthusiasm gave me important insight that my motivation to work out prior to the 10K training plan had reduced significantly. I now realize I was resisting because I was bored and stuck in a routine (autopilot).

 I competed and completed my first 10K race because I chose to be intentional! Now this was a few years ago and my lifestyle and injuries no longer allow me to do competitive running – so my wife and I have made the choice to walk 10,000 steps together 3-5 times per week weather permitting. Now we achieve two things at once – relationship and connection building plus fitness and movement.  This shift was intentional. 

Too many routine and autopilot responses can lead to our becoming stale and to outcomes we don’t really want.

Review the Action Steps to confirm possible ways you can shift from autopilot living to being intentional in all areas of your life.

Do you believe that you have more potential to contribute or achieve? Most people would say “yes.” But how do we tap into our potential and purpose?

Did you know, that

• Nearly 80% of individuals dislike what they do for a living? (The levels of dislike range from a feeling of mild irritation to downright loathing.)
• Over 70% of people have no conscious idea of their Personal Style, strengths, values, interests, gifts, or talents?
• Up to 95% of illness is related to lifestyle?
• Most people don’t have any clear vision for their future?

When interviewing colleague (now late) Richard Knowdell, a 40-year career-development professional, I asked: “With all the career-development resources available, why do 80% of people still not enjoy their work?”

His answer: “People are not willing to do the work or invest in their own professional development to achieve growth. Most will spend more time and money on entertainment this year than on their own development.”

In fact, most individuals will spend more on entertainment this weekend than they are willing to invest in their own professional development this year!

Example: The stats state that the average individuals will spend 3-5 hours on social media as day – yes, a day! Yet, I had one person concerned that our online courses took 3-5 hours to complete. This is just an excuse – time is not the issue, but rather priorities.

So where do we start to make changes?

To realize our potential, we must make a commitment to work on ourselves. Without self-awareness, we will be unable to make intentional decisions. It’s important to fully understand our preferences and how important they are to all our life choices.

In five separate studies, the process of clarifying and documenting values resulted in increased confidence, reduced stress, increased wellness, improved objectivity, enhanced decision-making capabilities, and increased resilience to challenges and problems.

Are you clear about your core values? What about your gifts, talents, and abilities?

The following Motivation/Inspiration Model© can help you understand how to live “On Purpose,” realize your potential, as well as provide a way to see and nurture the potential and purpose in others.

Although there are many factors, I will reference two that specifically affect your ability to realize your potential.

Factor #1: Your State of Joy and Happiness

It is impossible to realize your potential if you are miserable, down and unhappy. That doesn’t mean every moment will be filled with joy, but consider whether you are generally feeling grounded and centered. The now is the only place any of us can ever live, so why not enjoy it? A wave of research is underway in the area of mindfulness and the importance of being present in the now.

Consider also your mindset, or the way you are experiencing your life—your level of happiness. All your thoughts and actions have an impact, and you cannot realize your potential unless you are in a place of contentment. Are you joyful in the moment? If I were to ask your co-workers, family, and friends, what would they say? When people interact with you, are they better or worse for it?

We have a choice about how we will react and respond to what life hands us. Are you intentional about your joy and happiness?

If we are miserable, whining, and constantly complaining (displaying lack of joy/happiness), people won’t be inclined to support us, or even be around us; that is just common sense. Further, unhappiness is contributing to our increased stress and illness levels. Over 50% of the global workforce feels highly stressed! If you are not content in the now, then you are not realizing your full potential.

Factor #2: Your Future Vision

Recently, it has been suggested that smart goals do more harm than good; however, having a vision is critical to realizing potential.

• Vision should be an active-tense condition, always in play—something you are working toward achieving.
• Hope (which refers to the future) is very powerful; it drives people to become and do more.

You might be familiar with Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, who lived in German prison camps during the Second World War. In his book, Frankl states the reason he survived (and others did not) was his daily vision (hope) of reuniting with his family. That gave him inspiration, determination, and strength when others despaired. His statement that “others can take everything from me but they cannot take my vision or dreams” is one we can all embrace. If we have no future vision, then what will inspire us to become and do more?

Realizing our calling, purpose, and potential takes us to a place of fulfillment and encouragement. Everything that has ever been achieved by the human race was first envisioned.

Ask yourself:

• What are my visions and dreams?
• What do I need to learn?
• Who would I like to become?
• What am I called to be and do? What is my purpose?
• Where do I want to make a difference?
• How would I like to be remembered?
• What will be my legacy?

Most people are not clear on the answers, and it takes effort and time to be diligent in seeking them. Not everyone is committed to the process—but are you? My newest book (and now a full ecourse), The Quest For Purpose, provides a roadmap for those seeking to live a life full of purpose and joy. The Motivation/Inspiration Model© is just one chapter in the book.

Remember, to reach your fullest potential, you must:

Decide if you are willing to invest both time and money in your development and if you’re ready to make the changes required to realize your potential. If so, do it!

Determine whether you are living in a state of joy and happiness, and living in the moment. If not, what choices will you have to make to shift into that state?

Cultivate self-awareness and gain a clear understanding of your preferences, values, gifts, talents, and abilities.

Consider what others might be saying about you. Are you a person whom others like to be around, or do you drain their energy? Do you need to make changes to create a more positive impact?

True purpose and joy are also spiritual matters.

Investigate and/or strengthen your connection in this area so your joy can be sustainable and self-generating.

By making a commitment to do the work necessary to realize your potential, you have the opportunity to transform your own life, and ultimately the lives of those around you.

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Here are more examples of situations of victim mentality. Watch who these individuals are blaming for their external conditions.

• My son when he was 11-years old felt he could not get good grades in math because of the teacher’s teaching style. We reframed the situation to show that he is responsible for his marks no matter what. His math grade improved.

• Years ago when I became Chair of a private school – many of the past board members had a victim of circumstances mentality. Previous board members said we could never grow the school, given the condition of the community (blue collar) and that most individuals could not afford private education. After that victim-mentality individuals had left the board, we went on to 60% growth in just the 12 months. I guess all the individuals who could not invest in private education moved out of the area.

• A local poverty-action group said that unless the government and the community put several initiatives in place, individuals could never get out of the cycle of poverty. So far, they have fulfilled their expectations, and their poverty group has grown. Note: This does not suggest new programs are not needed, but this group is implying no one can get out of poverty without new programs.

• A very successful colleague and friend in Chicago tells me that many of his friends still struggle and blame their race for their poor conditions. That did not stop him from reaching his goals and living the life he dreamed of. This of course is not politically correct today so they continue to be in the mindset of victimhood.

• Research has proven that your posture and how you carry yourself reveal whether or not you are an easy target (victim). If you act like a victim, it’s more probable that you will become one — even just walking down the street. This was proven with a martial arts class I attended many years ago.

• When confronted by a teenage mother-to-be who wanted support because she could no longer work, the Minnesota Governor suggested she should have thought about that before getting herself into that condition. He asked why the state should pay for other people’s choices. Again this is not politically correct to speak this way.

I’m sure you can think of more examples where similar victim mindsets were evident.

Nothing positive or productive ever comes out of that attitude.

A victim mentality can be disempowering for the individual or group experiencing it. It is a terrible place because it leads a person to avoid stepping outside of their comfort zone, making difficult decisions, or even doing anything to improve their situation. 

As a result, they feel stuck and unable to move forward, paralyzed by fear.

Remember that you are also a product of your environment and the company you keep. So be wary of who you let in your circle.

• Who are you hanging out with? They are influencing your behaviors and mindset.

• Be aware of your primary peer group(s). If you spend most of your time interacting with individuals who like to blame others for their circumstances, guess which path you will be heading down.

• Even if they are family members or long-term friends, don’t play victim to the victim. Take personal responsibility and upgrade your circle of friends and peers.

Responsibility is a mark of a good leader. Great leaders own and address any issues or problems hurled at them. This shows that they get the job done and are committed to excellence because they are willing to admit their mistakes and grow from them. A leader who takes responsibility is reliable and trustworthy.

As Sir Winston Churchill once said, “The price of greatness is taking responsibility.”

Are you taking responsibility for your life and circumstances, or are you playing the role of a victim?

To assist you on your journey of taking personal responsibility — and not playing to the victim mentality — I recommend the following CRG resources. These tools will allow you to take ownership in several areas of your life while building your confidence and saying no to the victim mentality.

• The Quest For Purpose Journal™

• Personal Style Indicator

• Self-Worth Inventory 

• Stress Indicator and Health Planner

• Values Preference Indicator

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Being a winner is a choice, not a condition of your circumstances.

We live in uncertain times where many want to blame everyone else for their circumstances. Corporate misconduct is an all too familiar term that happens too often in the corporate world. But what does that mean for each of us?

At every moment, we can choose to let our circumstances shape our lives, or we can shape our circumstances.

Winners don’t get hung up on what could have been. Time travel is not a thing yet. And worrying about the past is counterproductive.

Yes, others’ conduct may have traumatized the global economic foundation. Regardless, we all need to own our space. Winners take responsibility for the life they created.

It may be difficult to assume responsibility for our condition, but that is essential to a winner’s mindset. A documentary on the 2008 US financial/real estate meltdown showed a reporter interviewing owners and lenders, and not one person took any responsibility for the mess they created.

One interviewed woman had borrowed (been given a more appropriate description) over $1.8 million in loans for multiple properties and was in default. Her monthly income was $1500 per month. When she was asked by the reporter how she had contributed to the rocky financial situation in the US, she denied that she had played any part in it. According to her, it was all the bank’s fault for lending her the money.

The loans officer at the bank passed on the blame to the mandate set by the executives to increase sales, no matter what! – so he maintained his hands were clean!

The reality is both are at fault. Taking the example above, to indeed be winners, they both must take responsibility for the situation.

Winners know their purpose.

 After conducting a seminar, an individual approached me and asked me what happens if he did not have a purpose and therefore did not know what he wanted? My response was that everyone has a purpose or calling, and you just need to find out what it is.

Our life leaves clues. We must pay attention to the evidence.

When you are a true winner, you live a fully engaged life. In our experience at CRG, that is achievable only when you are living your purpose.

Winners embrace that truth and seek to align their choices and lives accordingly.

Winners focus on what they want, not what they don’t want.

Dreams and hope are two of the most potent concepts winners can embrace. The law of attraction is a fundamental, working, non-negotiable principle.

• You can’t have wellness and health if you are always worried about sickness and injury.

• You won’t have wealth if you are always worried about being broke.

• You won’t find a job or a career if you keep thinking nobody will hire you.

Document exactly what you want!

It is challenging to attract unknown results. Ambiguity will lead to confusion, not clarity.

Included in this step is that your language — the words coming out of your mouth — MUST reflect the outcome you desire . . . not the current situation you are in. What you put your attention on will increase, and there simply is no way to avoid that principle.

If you are broke, you won’t improve the situation by saying you have no money, which will keep you in poverty.

If you are ill, talking about how sick you are will not improve your wellness. Norman Cousins proved that in his book, The Anatomy of an Illness.

If you say you can’t find a job and that comes to pass, don’t be surprised. Focus— think and speak — only about what you want!

Persistence is mandatory.

Winners realize setbacks are part of the winning process.

Never giving up is a requirement for winning. At my son’s ball game, one of his team members missed catching an easy flyball.

Then, instead of chasing after the ball, he quit trying. That resulted in two additional runs for the other team.

When Colonel Sanders of the KFC fame first approached the marketplace with his secret recipe, he was rejected by over 60 restaurants. He resorted to sleeping in his car until he found success.

Winners keep going — no matter what.

Winners surround themselves with other winners.

You take on the characteristics and values of the company and friends you keep. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to succeed or become a winner if you are hanging around with losers.

Whether you like it or not, the language and conduct of the people around you influence you. Choose to have supportive and successful mentors and friends.

You must take the position that it does not matter what others say, and what matters is what you believe and the goals you want to achieve. Only surround yourself with people who support your goals and believe in you.

You control your destiny!

The reality is that many individuals don’t take responsibility for their condition and won’t support your goals and dreams, either.

As a winner, don’t share your dreams with those types of people; they will try to talk you out of your future!

Choose winners for friends.

Winners own their space and take proactive action steps.

Take action today and change your mindset to that of a winner.

As Vincent Thomas once said,

“Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.”

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