CRG – Consulting Resource Group https://crgleader.com Business Consulting Tue, 17 Jan 2023 03:01:28 +0000 en-CA hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.1.1 https://crgleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/cropped-favi-crg-32x32.jpg CRG – Consulting Resource Group https://crgleader.com 32 32 Is Your Lifestyle Killing You? https://crgleader.com/is-your-lifestyle-killing-you/ Tue, 17 Jan 2023 02:58:27 +0000 https://crgleader.com/?p=11968

As someone who worked out regularly and was a triathlon competitor, I am currently 20 lbs. overweight. The fact that I have a diploma in nutrition and genetics and a wellness coach makes my current health condition embarrassing.

Health care or sick care as my MD friend calls it – is quickly becoming the number one concern in the Western world. Our life expediency for the first time in 50 years is reducing and individuals are more stressed than ever. The more enlightened are looking at the quality of their life as equal to as or more important than the length of their life.

As the baby boomers reach retirement age, they are expecting an active lifestyle — not the past stereo-typical “doing nothing” view of retirement. In fact, most want the option of becoming more physically and mentally active than they were during their working career.

In addition, our achievement of longer life has created unanticipated fallout in the economic models on which developed countries operate. Already several countries are raising their retirement age from the average age of 65. Why? They can’t support their population for the 20 extra years that many of them are going to live. Those of you who are younger and who will not be financially independent at retirement should expect to work much later. Age 70+ will become the new retirement norm.

Modern society has not only helped us live longer, it has contributed to increasing our stress levels. In a recent survey by Northwestern Life, over 40% of workers reported their jobs to be “very or extremely stressful.”

Heart disease and cancer ― are two of the primary disease killers in North America ― are more rampant than ever as damaging lifestyle choices and poor diet. But now mental health is the middle of crisis as more young people will die of suicide than any other cause. This is not okay.

There is not enough space in this short article to outline all the strategies but here is a start with links to additional resources.

1.Take responsibility for your own health condition. Blaming others will not improve your health and it might increase your stress levels.

2. Establish your current health condition. Many of us take better care of our automobiles than we do ourselves. When was the last time you had a maintenance check-up? Have an annual physical check-up.

3. Another option is to complete CRG’s Online Stress Indicator & Health Planner (SIHP) Or engage in our full online course (4 hours or powerful content) Dying to Live. It can serve as a powerful process to not only assessment and benchmark your stress and health practices but provide step by step process to improve your over all well being in five areas of your life. .

  1. Physical Health: Physical, Psychological, and Behavioral Symptoms
  2. Interpersonal Stress Factors
  3. Wellness Practices
  4. Nutritional Practices
  5. Occupational Stress

One of our clients has been using this assessment every year for over a decade in her organization of 6000 employees. The SIHP helps staff members determine if there has been an improvement in their health condition after implementing certain wellness strategies.

4. Think preventative wellness and nutritional balance, not drugs and medicine. Unfortunately, the majority of medical practitioners are trained to treat, not help prevent conditions. Medical training includes very little instruction on the nutritional effects on the human body. My many doctor friends agree that more must be done to include the preventative mindset in the medical community.

After my family member almost died of a heart attack, the doctors put him on a low-fat, high-carb diet. The results of this approach increased his risk factors. After switching to a low-carb diet, he now is in better shape than he was 20 years ago.

5. Set-up a plan that will work for you and your life conditions and preferences. Be realistic.

6. Take action. This is one area where just thinking about it will not help us achieve the wellness levels we all want.

7. Special Note: A breakthrough study has identified that mental health or lack of it is a metabolic disorder not a mental health disorder. That means what you are eating and your lifestyle is killing you not your mindset. It is about your Brain Energy. (More to come on this in the future)

Health and safety losses cost billions each year in lost productivity and related expenses, not to mention the intangible personal costs. You have seen on the news where seemingly perfectly fit joggers die while running. Wellness issues apply to more than overweight and inactive individuals.

Environmental stress is global; it does not restrict its effects to certain groups. Our lifestyle choices are contributing to our health and wellness condition.

This Week´s Action Steps

Health and wellness are your responsibility. After all, you will have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.

1. Take responsibility for your health and wellness.

2. Determine the ideal health and wellness condition for you. Document the differences between your current lifestyle and your new plan so that you have health goals to shoot for.

3. Establish your current health and wellness levels by completing our Stress Indicator & Health Planner Assessment and our Dying to Live eCourse

4. Acknowledge your current condition before embarking on an improvement plan. If I decided to run a marathon next week, you would surely be reading about my untimely demise.

5. If you have not done so, have an annual check-up to benchmark your medical condition.

6. Be holistic in your wellness plan. Map your improvements in all areas: nutrition, wellness, interpersonal, occupational, and physical.

7. Physical activity must be part of your plan. Recent research proves how your overall health and cognitive abilities improve by simply walking 25,000 steps a week.

8. Make your plan a challenge. Make it fun. Be creative. If time is an issue, plan activities that combine healthy pursuits with important relationships.

9. Nutrition will play a critical part in your long-term success; it must be included in your wellness plan.

10. Start from where you are. Now.

 

 Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!

 

Ken Keis

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Do You Dare To Dream ? https://crgleader.com/do-you-dare-to-dream/ Sat, 10 Dec 2022 00:35:02 +0000 https://crgleader.com/?p=13680

Today, I want to encourage you to have fun by expanding your dreams (as in your wishes and desires, not what happens while you’re sleeping).

Children naturally have endless imagination and dreams. Educators have confirmed through research that those children who take part in more imaginary play have increased confidence and problem-solving skills. That’s why too much television or device time is detrimental to children; it eliminates their need to imagine, to dream. Not to mention that device use creates additions!

Dreams and doubts are forms of thought and opinion, not fact. But as people grow up, many of them lose the childlike ability to imagine what might be possible. They become more pragmatic, and hide behind the adult notion of being more “realistic.”

Dreams are hindered by doubt; so, for this moment, I am asking you to take a journey of dreams—your dreams—and to fight off any doubt that might rear its ugly head.

Dreams attract opportunities; doubt repels them.

For this very instant, assume there are no limits or restrictions on your dreams or your resources to achieve them.

First, dreams—your dreams—are your birthright; you need to own your dreams. Over the past couple of decades, I have discovered that dreams are very personal, and people don’t usually hold on to dreams that they cannot achieve. Give yourself credit that your dreams are really your desires and that they are possible!

To get you in the right frame of mind, read this poem by 13th-century poet Rumi.

You were born with potential.
You were born with trust.
You were born with ideals and dreams.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You were not meant for crawling, so don’t.
You have wings. Learn to use them to fly.

Dreams can assume the forms of doing, being, and having.

If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

1. What have you not done that you would like to do? Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Travel: Where would you like to go that you have never been?
  • Activities: What new activity would you like to do?
  • Accomplishments: Would you like to write a book, a song, a play, etc.? Volunteer? Become an advocate? Go back to school or start a new business?

Stop, think, and dream about them now.

2. What would you like to be, by developing yourself to become a better, more complete, and fulfilled person?

  • What areas of knowledge would you like to acquire?
  • What skills would you like to develop?
  • What disciplines would you like to master?
  • What can you do to be more healthy and fit?

Stop, think, and dream about those things now.

3. What would you like to have? The options are endless when it comes to physical and material items. Just make sure you are thinking about your dreams, not the ones placed upon you by other people or society.

Now, believe you already have achieved your dreams. Reflect on how this feels. Do you really want each dream to become reality? If you do, keep it. If not, let it go.

Stop, think about, and visualize your third list now. Remember, you can’t fail.

Take the time to write out your dream list. Review it often. Update it, refine it, and expand it.

You’ll find that the more you do dream, the more you will dream. Abundance begets abundance. If you think this approach is too over-the-top and you’re finding it challenging to accept, here’s your homework:

1) Engage as many individuals as possible in the next week and encourage them in their own dreams.
2) Support them, even in their simplest desires.
3) Pay attention to how that simple act of kindness can spur you to own your own dreams.

One of the greatest gifts that you can give others is for you to continually expand your dreams and your thinking; that encourages others to do the same. When you help others embrace their dreams, you will discover that yours will expand, too.

This Week’s Action Steps

  1. Consider whether you are inspired by your dreams, or your doubt.
  2. Dare to dream—doubt and dreams rarely occupy the same space.
  3. Think about what dreams you would embrace if you knew failure was not an option. What dreams have you given up that you need to revive?
  4. Make a list of all the things you would do, be, or have. To make your list, review the details provided earlier in this newsletter.
  5. Imagine, for a moment, that your dreams are happening. How does that make you feel? Can you notice your increased energy and inspiration?
  6. Write out your dream list. Review it often; give yourself permission to continue to refine and update it.
  7. Make sure that everything on your dream list is really yours. If you have no positive emotions toward a dream, ensure it’s your dream and not something that society or someone else has influenced you to “want.” If it is not your dream, please remove it from your list.
  8. Step out and help others embrace their dreams if you ever feel doubt about your own. Encouraging others in their dreams and desires is a gift that will bless them and benefit you in your own journey.
  9. Remember: Dreams are not just for children; they are for everyone—including you!
  10. If you are unsure about your calling, purpose or desires consider our online course The Quest For Purpose where I will take you step-by-step through a process to help you determine, confirm and live out your dreams.

 Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!

 

Ken Keis

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The Power of Being Intentional https://crgleader.com/the-power-of-being-intentional/ Fri, 08 Apr 2022 02:38:08 +0000 https://crgleader.com/?p=15240

According to science and research, most of us live 95% to 97% of our lives on autopilot . . . we don’t consciously think about many of the things we are doing each day.

Some of you might be surprised by that number.

Let’s reflect on this for a moment.

  • You got up this morning.
  • Did you follow the same routine you had done for months and years, not varying it at all?
  • Did you even think about what you did first?

Just this morning, my sequence of events happened as it does every single morning: Get up, visit the washroom, take a multivitamin, turn on the podcast, shave, shower, and dress—breakfast 9 times out of 10 consists of consuming the same items in identical order.

Where is the intentionality in our routines if we don’t even think about what we are doing anymore? Have you ever arrived at a location in your vehicle, then thought, how did I get here? Some of you drove to work today and did not think about your route.

The point is that most of our life is lived according to our autopilot, our subconscious minds, rather than through any intentionality (proactive thinking) on our part!

To be intentional is to knowingly choose your direction and shake up the routine occasionally to get your conscious mind working.

Some teach that we should have routines to lessen the burden of all the choices we have to make, and there is some truth to that strategy.

But what happens when we allow our routines to run our lives rather than intentionally engaging them? Autopilot costs us lost opportunities, or it may take us completely off course, landing us at a destination we have not envisioned or planned. That happens when we don’t consciously or intentionally take over from our autopilot — a sin of omission.

 

Your life can be negatively affected by what you don’t do as much as what you do.

A few years ago, I took charge of my health and wellness, which had fallen into disrepair. After I chose to get intentional with my health, I set a new direction, changed my routine, and lost nearly 40 pounds. Scroll ahead 3 years to where I injured myself playing hockey, which forced me to miss my workouts for a couple of months. I gained 10 pounds right away and didn’t return to working out.

It took a new level of intentionality on my part to get back on track. I can credit my wife, Brenda, for some friendly competition she secretly trained and surprised me by running a 10K race. Yes, I was proud of her, but my competitive side said, if she can do this, so can I!

So, , I stepped up my efforts and began to follow a 10K training schedule. The workout had something different every day, making it challenging and far more enjoyable than repeating the same workout routine each session. My new enthusiasm gave me important insight that my motivation to work out prior to the 10K training plan had reduced significantly. I now realize I was resisting because I was bored and stuck in a routine (autopilot).

 I competed and completed my first 10K race because I chose to be intentional! Now this was a few years ago and my lifestyle and injuries no longer allow me to do competitive running – so my wife and I have made the choice to walk 10,000 steps together 3-5 times per week weather permitting. Now we achieve two things at once – relationship and connection building plus fitness and movement.  This shift was intentional. 

 

Too many routine and autopilot responses can lead to our becoming stale and to outcomes we don’t really want.

Review the Action Steps to confirm possible ways you can shift from autopilot living to being intentional in all areas of your life.

Action Steps 

The Power of Being Intentional

  1. Upon reflection, what percentage of your life is on autopilot?
  2. Which of your routines, responses, and activities are on autopilot? Make a quick list of those items.
  3. What do you want to change to become more intentional in your life? Think about all the areas of your life: personal, physical, relationships, financial, career, recreation, friends, social, spiritual, mental, emotional, and anything else that is important to you.
  4. One way to shift behaviors is to map out a new destination. What new outcomes or goals will help overcome your autopilot?
  5. To help you on this journey, switch up a regular routine to get yourself off autopilot. Drive a different route, do things in a new order, try something new, phone new friends, and so on. Force yourself to get out of the rut, so your mind must become intentional with each new step.
  6. To be more intentional, you must know yourself. Complete CRGs Values Preference Indicator (VPI) and Personal Style Indicator (PSI) to get to know yourself better . . . so you can be intentional!
  7. Read Why Aren’t You More Like Me?“! It provides a roadmap for understanding yourself and others. You will learn about your natural tolerance for risk and be better able to play to your strengths.
  8. Consider using The Quest For Purpose Journal to find your life purpose and to help you live your life intentionally.
  9. Hey, make this fun! Enjoy the ride of turning off your autopilot and flying intentionally in your life.

 Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!

 

Ken Keis

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Realizing Your Potential: What It Means To Live On Purpose! https://crgleader.com/what-it-means-to-live-on-purpose/ Wed, 16 Mar 2022 02:30:27 +0000 https://crgleader.com/?p=15120

Do you believe that you have more potential to contribute or achieve? Most people would say “yes.” But how do we tap into our potential and purpose?

Did you know, that

  • Nearly 80% of individuals dislike what they do for a living? (The levels of dislike range from a feeling of mild irritation to downright loathing.)
  • Over 70% of people have no conscious idea of their Personal Style, strengths, values, interests, gifts, or talents?
  • Up to 95% of illness is related to lifestyle?
  • Most people don’t have any clear vision for their future?

When interviewing colleague (now late) Richard Knowdell, a 40-year career-development professional, I asked: “With all the career-development resources available, why do 80% of people still not enjoy their work?”

His answer: “People are not willing to do the work or invest in their own professional development to achieve growth. Most will spend more time and money on entertainment this year than on their own development.”

In fact, most individuals will spend more on entertainment this weekend than they are willing to invest in their own professional development this year!

Example: The stats state that the average individuals will spend 3-5 hours on social media as day – yes, a day! Yet, I had one person concerned that our online courses took 3-5 hours to complete. This is just an excuse – time is not the issue, but rather priorities.

So where do we start to make changes?

To realize our potential, we must make a commitment to work on ourselves. Without self-awareness, we will be unable to make intentional decisions. It’s important to fully understand our preferences and how important they are to all our life choices.

In five separate studies, the process of clarifying and documenting values resulted in increased confidence, reduced stress, increased wellness, improved objectivity, enhanced decision-making capabilities, and increased resilience to challenges and problems.

Are you clear about your core values? What about your gifts, talents, and abilities?

The following Motivation/Inspiration Model© can help you understand how to live “On Purpose,” realize your potential, as well as provide a way to see and nurture the potential and purpose in others.

Although there are many factors, I will reference two that specifically affect your ability to realize your potential.

Factor #1: Your State of Joy and Happiness

It is impossible to realize your potential if you are miserable, down and unhappy. That doesn’t mean every moment will be filled with joy, but consider whether you are generally feeling grounded and centered. The now is the only place any of us can ever live, so why not enjoy it? A wave of research is underway in the area of mindfulness and the importance of being present in the now.

Consider also your mindset, or the way you are experiencing your life—your level of happiness. All your thoughts and actions have an impact, and you cannot realize your potential unless you are in a place of contentment. Are you joyful in the moment? If I were to ask your co-workers, family, and friends, what would they say? When people interact with you, are they better or worse for it?

We have a choice about how we will react and respond to what life hands us. Are you intentional about your joy and happiness?

If we are miserable, whining, and constantly complaining (displaying lack of joy/happiness), people won’t be inclined to support us, or even be around us; that is just common sense. Further, unhappiness is contributing to our increased stress and illness levels. Over 50% of the global workforce feels highly stressed! If you are not content in the now, then you are not realizing your full potential.

Factor #2: Your Future Vision

Recently, it has been suggested that smart goals do more harm than good; however, having a vision is critical to realizing potential.

  • Vision should be an active-tense condition, always in play—something you are working toward achieving.
  • Hope (which refers to the future) is very powerful; it drives people to become and do more.

You might be familiar with Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, who lived in German prison camps during the Second World War. In his book, Frankl states the reason he survived (and others did not) was his daily vision (hope) of reuniting with his family. That gave him inspiration, determination, and strength when others despaired. His statement that “others can take everything from me but they cannot take my vision or dreams” is one we can all embrace. If we have no future vision, then what will inspire us to become and do more?

Realizing our calling, purpose, and potential takes us to a place of fulfillment and encouragement. Everything that has ever been achieved by the human race was first envisioned.

Ask yourself:

  • What are my visions and dreams?
  • What do I need to learn?
  • Who would I like to become?
  • What am I called to be and do? What is my purpose?
  • Where do I want to make a difference?
  • How would I like to be remembered?
  • What will be my legacy?

Most people are not clear on the answers, and it takes effort and time to be diligent in seeking them. Not everyone is committed to the process—but are you? My newest book (and now a full ecourse), The Quest For Purpose, provides a roadmap for those seeking to live a life full of purpose and joy. The Motivation/Inspiration Model© is just one chapter in the book.

Remember, to reach your fullest potential, you must:

Decide if you are willing to invest both time and money in your development and if you’re ready to make the changes required to realize your potential. If so, do it!

Determine whether you are living in a state of joy and happiness, and living in the moment. If not, what choices will you have to make to shift into that state?

Cultivate self-awareness and gain a clear understanding of your preferences, values, gifts, talents, and abilities.

Consider what others might be saying about you. Are you a person whom others like to be around, or do you drain their energy? Do you need to make changes to create a more positive impact?

True purpose and joy are also spiritual matters.

Investigate and/or strengthen your connection in this area so your joy can be sustainable and self-generating.

By making a commitment to do the work necessary to realize your potential, you have the opportunity to transform your own life, and ultimately the lives of those around you.

 Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!

 

Ken Keis

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The Keys to Attracting Your Perfect Job, Role, or Career! https://crgleader.com/keys-to-attracting-your-perfect-job-role-career/ Thu, 03 Mar 2022 00:47:07 +0000 https://crgleader.com/?p=15050

Are you in your perfect job?

According to several studies, 50%-80% of individuals are unhappy with their jobs, roles, or careers ranging from irritated to loathe! This issue has become a problem in today’s fast-paced competitive workplace. Add new virtual or blended work environments, and this lack of engagement correlates with increased frequency of people either quitting their jobs or underperforming in their roles.

Your degree of satisfaction with your career (position) also directly affects your degree of satisfaction with your personal life and vice versa.

So, how do you know whether you are in your right job or not? What can you do to attract your ideal job or career?

When you are in your role or job is a fit, you are happy, motivated, and passionate about what you are doing that it doesn’t feel much like work. This means that you are doing your absolute best with the least amount of effort. And you can do this when you are using your natural talent and gift as the basis of your career. 

Each of us is born with specific talents. And before you can attract your perfect career, work, or life, you must be clear about your gifts, skills, and interests.

Consider every day, not as a drudge, but a new opportunity to tap into your talent — the things that energize you— and discover your passions.

However, the challenge for many of you is that your gifts and talents don’t fit the Standard Industry Classification (SIC) Code. While it may be easy to define the skills necessary to do the job of a welder, bus driver, or receptionist, how do an intrapreneur and an entrepreneur fit into the code? 

I’ll tell you, and many people do not! Making career/life decisions using the status quo is not always beneficial. For many of us, that process misses the mark.

My primary MBA research revealed that the higher individuals moved on the traditional corporate ladder, the lower their job satisfaction and morale levels, and that is a fact. 

Even though I was not surprised by the research results, I was not prepared with direct follow-up questions to confirm the exact reasons for their growing job dissatisfaction. 

Further evidence points to this: as people progress along the responsibility trail, they have less time and less balance in their lives; there is a growing chasm between their work life and the life they envisioned for themselves. Increasingly they are forced to make choices among the things they value most in life – and they simply do not like the options. 

Don’t get me wrong. Working is foundational to living a fulfilling life (please note: work includes everything from being a CEO volunteering to parent). However, I want to suggest that your job, career, or business should be there to serve you, not the other way around. Not from a selfish point of view but a self-honoring where you can bring your best with passion and purpose. 

I agree with colleague Dr. Alan Weiss’s opinion on life – we don’t have a work and home life; we simply have a life with all its elements. Our relationships, our communities, our hobbies — they are all connected. So, if you are in a job or career, or business that is not serving you and using your gifts, talents, and interests, then it is time to take action and consider a change.

Working in a way that doesn’t align with your natural abilities, talents, and gifts will yield fewer results and lower satisfaction levels. This leads to longer, more unsatisfying hours with fewer incentives for individuals and a lack of productivity for organizations.

As Helen Keller once put it, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”

Action Steps 

  1. Establish what you want in a position, career, or opportunity.

  2. Let go of your fear – your choices determine your quality of life.

  3. Ask for support. Get feedback from friends, coaches, and colleagues – and tell the truth.

  4. Take quiet time to listen to yourself. Expect to receive the answers you seek.

  5. Make a list of all the characteristics, qualities, and attributes of your perfect opportunity.

  6. Compare that list to your current situation. In many cases, individuals who complete this process find out that they can achieve exactly what they wish to accomplish with a few adjustments and a bit of fine-tuning. For some reason, they have not been accepting that they are pretty close to having what they want. Some individuals must permit themselves to enjoy their life. Some individuals confirm that they are in the correct position but working within an unsupportive leadership or poor working environment.

  7. Envision your perfect career or business in all its detail. How does it look? Document it, reflect on it, and get excited about living it!

  8. Complete assessment and interest inventories to help in the clarification process. One of the CRG tools many individuals have used with great success is the Job Style Indicator. The Job Style Indicator will help you determine (in comparison with your Personal Style Indicator results) whether you utilize your natural personal style strengths in your current job position.

          

I ALSO RECOMMEND…

(Click below to take the assessment)

Personal Style Indicator (PSI)

To identify your natural preferences and strengths.

Self-Worth Inventory

To understand how your level of self-worth is affecting your success.

Stress Indicator and Health Planner

To determine how your lifestyle influences your stress and wellness levels.

Values Preference Indicator

To clarify your core values.

9. If you are the one in five individuals who have achieved perfect responsibility “On Purpose,” what is your next level? How can you go even higher?

 Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!

 

Ken Keis

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Ditch The Victim Mentality For Personal Responsibility https://crgleader.com/ditch-the-victim-mentality/ Mon, 21 Feb 2022 06:06:28 +0000 https://crgleader.com/?p=14964

Do you know someone who constantly plays the victim card — blaming others and the world for their unfortunate circumstances?

Chances are, at some point in your life, you’ve encountered people who seem to live in a constant state of drama that seems to be never their fault. They immediately complain about their latest ordeal and misfortune when they sit down.

Listening to their seemingly endless tales of woe can be exhausting and frustrating, especially when they are full of negativity and believe that their problems are the fault of everyone else but them.

I should know. I have encountered a lot of these in my long career and yes –  I have been guilty of this mindset as well!

Although some may have a legitimate story that supports their situation, does that justify the victim mentality?

Absolutely not!

People with a victim mentality believe that they are helpless and that the whole world is against them. They feel that they are victims whenever something goes wrong, even if the incident doesn’t involve them. They are less likely to be open to new solutions and might instead prefer to be where they are, miserable.

Victim mentality makes people see themselves as victims of other people’s hostile acts. Essentially, it is an act of avoidance – some way of refusing to accept any responsibility for their actions or their lives.

When the victim card plays, the victim tries to shift the onus onto outside influences. That suggests the victim has played no role in creating the situation and has no power to change it.

That attitude plays perfectly into the victim mentality: After all, it’s not the victim’s fault, so they can’t do anything about it.

If you’ve read the book, The Road Less Traveled by author Scott Peck, you will see that Peck identified one of the most complex destructive and most difficult mental conditions to treat is “character disorder”; this is where it is everyone else’s fault. Successful treatment is challenging because the individuals do not take personal responsibility for their contribution to their situation.

And this happens a lot of times in the workplace.

The bottom line is you can see this anywhere. You see these kinds of people in colleagues you hear complaining that they only get the menial tasks while others get juicy and exciting projects. You find them in team leaders who blame the manager for giving the brief late; hence, they couldn’t submit the report on time.

The motto of the victim-mentality mindset? It’s not my fault!

Although most of us are guilty of feeling that way at some level, we don’t make it a way of life.

Here are more examples of situations of victim mentality. Watch who these individuals are blaming for their external conditions.

  • My son when he was 11-years old felt he could not get good grades in math because of the teacher’s teaching style. We reframed the situation to show that he is responsible for his marks no matter what. His math grade improved.

  • Years ago when I became Chair of a private school – many of the past board members had a victim of circumstances mentality. Previous board members said we could never grow the school, given the condition of the community (blue collar) and that most individuals could not afford private education. After that victim-mentality individuals had left the board, we went on to 60% growth in just the 12 months. I guess all the individuals who could not invest in private education moved out of the area.

  • A local poverty-action group said that unless the government and the community put several initiatives in place, individuals could never get out of the cycle of poverty. So far, they have fulfilled their expectations, and their poverty group has grown. Note: This does not suggest new programs are not needed, but this group is implying no one can get out of poverty without new programs.

  • A very successful colleague and friend in Chicago tells me that many of his friends still struggle and blame their race for their poor conditions. That did not stop him from reaching his goals and living the life he dreamed of. This of course is not politically correct today so they continue to be in the mindset of victimhood.

  • Research has proven that your posture and how you carry yourself reveal whether or not you are an easy target (victim). If you act like a victim, it’s more probable that you will become one — even just walking down the street. This was proven with a martial arts class I attended many years ago.

  • When confronted by a teenage mother-to-be who wanted support because she could no longer work, the Minnesota Governor suggested she should have thought about that before getting herself into that condition. He asked why the state should pay for other people’s choices. Again this is not politically correct to speak this way.

I’m sure you can think of more examples where similar victim mindsets were evident.

Nothing positive or productive ever comes out of that attitude.

A victim mentality can be disempowering for the individual or group experiencing it. It is a terrible place because it leads a person to avoid stepping outside of their comfort zone, making difficult decisions, or even doing anything to improve their situation. 

As a result, they feel stuck and unable to move forward, paralyzed by fear.

Remember that you are also a product of your environment and the company you keep. So be wary of who you let in your circle.

  • Who are you hanging out with? They are influencing your behaviors and mindset.

  • Be aware of your primary peer group(s). If you spend most of your time interacting with individuals who like to blame others for their circumstances, guess which path you will be heading down.

  • Even if they are family members or long-term friends, don’t play victim to the victim. Take personal responsibility and upgrade your circle of friends and peers.

Responsibility is a mark of a good leader. Great leaders own and address any issues or problems hurled at them. This shows that they get the job done and are committed to excellence because they are willing to admit their mistakes and grow from them. A leader who takes responsibility is reliable and trustworthy.

As Sir Winston Churchill once said, “The price of greatness is taking responsibility.”

Are you taking responsibility for your life and circumstances, or are you playing the role of a victim?

To assist you on your journey of taking personal responsibility — and not playing to the victim mentality — I recommend the following CRG resources. These tools will allow you to take ownership in several areas of your life while building your confidence and saying no to the victim mentality.

Action Steps 

Ditch The Victim Mentality And Start Taking Personal Responsibility

  1. When someone around you is constantly playing the victim card, how does that make you feel?

  2. Think and make a list of the negative consequences of the victim mindset.

  3. Is there any part of your life where you are currently playing the victim card? If Yes, list them now.

  4. What has playing a victim cost you or others around you?

  5. List what has to change for you to take personal responsibility for your current condition. What attitudes do you have to give up?

  6. Are there people in your life who frequently play the victim card? How is that affecting you? What can you do to limit, reduce, or eliminate these individuals from your life?

  7. List the benefits that individuals enjoy when they take personal responsibility for their circumstances.

  8. These CRG resources will contribute to you taking responsibility for your journey.

           The Quest For Purpose Journal™ will give you the roadmap for assisting individuals in living a life full of meaning, significance, and purpose.

I ALSO RECOMMEND…

(Click below to take the assessment)

Personal Style Indicator (PSI)

To identify your natural preferences and strengths.

Self-Worth Inventory

To understand how your level of self-worth is affecting your success.

Stress Indicator and Health Planner

To determine how your lifestyle influences your stress and wellness levels.

Values Preference Indicator

To clarify your core values.

9. Victims believe they must wait for others to improve their circumstances, which might never happen. Alternatively, taking personal responsibility can happen this very instant, providing you the opportunity to improve and move forward.

 Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!

 

Ken Keis

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A Winner’s Mindset https://crgleader.com/a-winners-mindset/ Thu, 27 Jan 2022 09:20:34 +0000 https://crgleader.com/?p=14799

 Winner: One who wins; one who is victorious, primarily through praiseworthy ability and hard work; a victor, especially in games and life.

 What does being a winner mean to you? Do you see yourself as a winner? I hope the answer is YES!

People – especially in the corporate world – are often too hard on themselves and find it difficult to see themselves as winners. In the years that I spent dealing with people and coaching professionals and entrepreneurs, I realized that each person is a winner hidden inside.

Yes, you CAN be a winner, and you ARE a winner. But ONLY if you want to be.

And it begins with having the right mindset.

Do you know what it takes to have the mindset of a winner?

In this article, let’s talk about a winner’s mindset and what winners do to cultivate and nurture that mindset. At the end of the blog, you will understand and adopt key actions, traits, and habits to make that mindset shift — from confusion and insecurity to that of a winner.

From the definition given above, a winner is defined as someone successful, mainly by virtue of their skill and work ethic. A winner is a victor, whether it be in the field of sports, business, career, or life.

When you have a winner’s mindset, you see challenges as opportunities, success as a step to more success, and failure as an opportunity for learning and growth. When you have a positive mindset and a winning attitude, you’ll be on your way to reaching the horizons of success.

Being a winner is a choice, not a condition of your circumstances.

We live in uncertain times where many want to blame everyone else for their circumstances. Corporate misconduct is an all too familiar term that happens too often in the corporate world. But what does that mean for each of us?

At every moment, we can choose to let our circumstances shape our lives, or we can shape our circumstances.

Winners don’t get hung up on what could have been. Time travel is not a thing yet. And worrying about the past is counterproductive.

Yes, others’ conduct may have traumatized the global economic foundation. Regardless, we all need to own our space. Winners take responsibility for the life they created.

It may be difficult to assume responsibility for our condition, but that is essential to a winner’s mindset. A documentary on the 2008 US financial/real estate meltdown showed a reporter interviewing owners and lenders, and not one person took any responsibility for the mess they created.

One interviewed woman had borrowed (been given a more appropriate description) over $1.8 million in loans for multiple properties and was in default. Her monthly income was $1500 per month. When she was asked by the reporter how she had contributed to the rocky financial situation in the US, she denied that she had played any part in it. According to her, it was all the bank’s fault for lending her the money.

The loans officer at the bank passed on the blame to the mandate set by the executives to increase sales, no matter what! – so he maintained his hands were clean!

The reality is both are at fault. Taking the example above, to indeed be winners, they both must take responsibility for the situation.

Winners know their purpose.

 After conducting a seminar, an individual approached me and asked me what happens if he did not have a purpose and therefore did not know what he wanted? My response was that everyone has a purpose or calling, and you just need to find out what it is.

Our life leaves clues. We must pay attention to the evidence.

When you are a true winner, you live a fully engaged life. In our experience at CRG, that is achievable only when you are living your purpose.

Winners embrace that truth and seek to align their choices and lives accordingly.

Winners focus on what they want, not what they don’t want.

Dreams and hope are two of the most potent concepts winners can embrace. The law of attraction is a fundamental, working, non-negotiable principle.

  • You can’t have wellness and health if you are always worried about sickness and injury.

  • You won’t have wealth if you are always worried about being broke.

  • You won’t find a job or a career if you keep thinking nobody will hire you.

Document exactly what you want!

It is challenging to attract unknown results. Ambiguity will lead to confusion, not clarity.

Included in this step is that your language — the words coming out of your mouth — MUST reflect the outcome you desire . . . not the current situation you are in. What you put your attention on will increase, and there simply is no way to avoid that principle.

If you are broke, you won’t improve the situation by saying you have no money, which will keep you in poverty.

If you are ill, talking about how sick you are will not improve your wellness. Norman Cousins proved that in his book, The Anatomy of an Illness.

If you say you can’t find a job and that comes to pass, don’t be surprised. Focus— think and speak — only about what you want!

Persistence is mandatory.

Winners realize setbacks are part of the winning process.

Never giving up is a requirement for winning. At my son’s ball game, one of his team members missed catching an easy flyball.

Then, instead of chasing after the ball, he quit trying. That resulted in two additional runs for the other team.

When Colonel Sanders of the KFC fame first approached the marketplace with his secret recipe, he was rejected by over 60 restaurants. He resorted to sleeping in his car until he found success.

Winners keep going — no matter what.

Winners surround themselves with other winners.

You take on the characteristics and values of the company and friends you keep. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to succeed or become a winner if you are hanging around with losers.

Whether you like it or not, the language and conduct of the people around you influence you. Choose to have supportive and successful mentors and friends.

You must take the position that it does not matter what others say, and what matters is what you believe and the goals you want to achieve. Only surround yourself with people who support your goals and believe in you.

You control your destiny!

The reality is that many individuals don’t take responsibility for their condition and won’t support your goals and dreams, either.

As a winner, don’t share your dreams with those types of people; they will try to talk you out of your future!

Choose winners for friends.

Winners own their space and take proactive action steps.

Take action today and change your mindset to that of a winner.

As Vincent Thomas once said,

“Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.”

Action Steps 

A Winner’s Mindset

  1. Are you choosing this very moment to be a winner? Your answer should be Yes! Being a winner is a choice, and it has nothing to do with your circumstances.

  2. Take responsibility for your life and its condition. Have you done that? Would people say you take responsibility for your life and the shape it’s in? Are you going to be happy with your answer?

  3. Knowing who you are is critical to the winner’s mindset. Are you clear about your life purpose and calling? If not, get on with this step.

  4. Once you know who you are, do you know where you are going? Are your dreams and goals transparent?

  5. Focus on what you want — not what you don’t want. You manifest what you think and talk about. It is nearly impossible to be a winner while worrying about everything that can go wrong.

  6. Often, the difference between losers and winners is the character trait of persistence. Do people call you persistent? Winners never give up on their dreams or calling, no matter what.

  7. Do you surround yourself with other winners? You must avoid toxic people.

  8. Every person has a purpose. To help you understand your purpose or calling, I encourage you to engage in our process, outlined step-by-step in The Quest for Purpose Journal Or Book a roadmap for assisting individuals to live a life of meaning, significance, and purpose.

  9. Benchmark your current condition with assessments. Your results will assist you in making the right decision every time — with confidence and clarity. As part of the clarification process, we recommend five specific assessments.

    RECOMMENDED ASSESSMENTS FOR YOU

    (Click below to take the assessment)

    Personal Style Indicator (PSI)

    To identify your natural preferences and strengths.

    Entrepreneurial Style and Success Indicator

    If you are heading into self-employment instead of the PSI.

    Values Preference Indicator

    To clarify your core values.

    Self-Worth Inventory

    To understand how your level of self-worth is affecting your success.

    Stress Indicator and Health Planner

    To determine how your lifestyle influences your stress and wellness levels.

    10. Yes, you are a winner. And, with a winner’s mindset, you will feel fulfilled and able to become fully engaged in your life . . . and contribute much to many!

     Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!

     

    Ken Keis

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    Your Mistakes: Gift or Burden? https://crgleader.com/your-mistakes-gift-or-burden/ Mon, 12 Jul 2021 18:52:38 +0000 https://crgleader.com/?p=13672

    Your Mistakes: Gift or Burden?

    Mistake: to blunder in choice; misinterpret; to make a wrong judgment of character or ability

    Do you see your mistakes as a gift or a burden?

    Show me someone who says he or she has rarely made a mistake and I’ll suspect that person is not telling the truth or he or she is living in a pool of mediocrity.

    There are varying degrees of mistakes, but the way we respond to our mistakes and learn from them is more critical than making them in the first place.

    A mistake, by definition, is something that has already occurred. Until someone creates a time machine, you are stuck with your mistakes. You cannot change what happened. You can, however, choose to let your mistakes—no matter how minor or major—contribute to your wisdom and to others’ futures, thus creating a gift for yourself, rather than a burden.

    Successful individuals will acknowledge that mistakes helped them achieve their high level of accomplishment. I admit that my greatest and most powerful learning has occurred when I screwed up the most. It was only afterward, as I reflected deeply on my mistakes—trying to understand all the factors and elements that lead to them—that I gained my greatest insights and wisdom.

    Fully engaging life over time, with many mistakes along the way, enriches your experience, wisdom, and knowledge. Not learning from your mistakes and continuing to make the same mistakes over and over is best described as “foolish.”

    What about mistakes that have a very negative impact?! What happens when your mistake is personally traumatic or seriously affects others? Some mistakes can result in the loss of reputation, personal assets, and even quality of life. Those mistakes can become an unbearable burden.

    It seems that—and I have been guilty of this—many people who have made a major mistake prefer to wallow in self-pity, berating themselves and withdrawing from life as self-imposed punishment.

    If you are doing that, STOP it at once. There is absolutely no honor in such action. In fact, that attitude draws more attention to the mistake and shows that you are not willing to take responsibility and learn from it.

    Some might say, Ken, I love my misery; it protects me from making another mistake. Yes . . . and your point is? If you are not making mistakes, you are not fully engaging in life. You are robbing yourself of things you could be accomplishing!

    Through a mistake in judgment, Tom Cruise, the cocky fighter pilot in the movie Top Gun, got “Goose,” his navigator, killed. After that, Tom’s mind and body wanted to withdraw, to run, to quit, but the Commanding Officer saw it differently. If Tom were to quit, then Goose’s death was certainly in vain; Tom would never use what he had learned about humility and judgment—it would be lost forever.

    • Where in your life have you made a mistake and learned a great lesson but then decided to withdraw, instead of taking your experience to the next level? It could be in investments, business, relationships, careers, conduct, behavior, or an endless list of actions or events.

    What about the opposite?

    • Where in your life have you made a major mistake and decided to use the lesson(s) you learned?

    Think about the two extremes and how each contributes to your life in either a positive or negative way. I suspect the second approach is more beneficial.

    I recall my attitude surrounding mistakes when I entered the professional development field over 30 years ago. In my late 20s, I felt I was the exception to the rule; I wouldn’t need to gather experience and make mistakes to learn and subsequently offer good advice to others. I thought: I do not have to be “old” (anyone over 40 . . . funny how perceptions change) before I can be wise and discerning. Oh, how wrong I was!

    It is because of my mistakes and what I learned from them that I have credibility today with the individuals I coach and those with whom I work. Some of my most dramatic mistakes triggered the most personal growth . . . like being defrauded by an individual for thousands of dollars, losing a business, losing money on a big stock investment, offending one of my best clients, hiring the wrong people, not standing up for what was best in a business contract, and hesitating—thus missing out on huge business opportunities. The list goes on.

    But Ken, you don’t know how bad my mistake was. You can’t understand I can no longer fully engage life because of my mistakedid I hear you say?

    Let me share this true story from our local community.

    A few years ago a teenager was drinking and driving. He lost control of his vehicle and ran over another teenager, killing him instantly. It was one of his friends.

    “Mistake” hardly describes the event but nevertheless, that was a major mistake for the teenager. You would think there would be no recovery from such a horrible experience. But there was! The parents who lost their son befriended the teenager who had killed their son. The mother traveled with that young man; speaking together to high school students about the perils of drinking and driving. Can you imagine the impact that team has on their audience? Wow! Oddly enough, it is the level of the tragedy (mistake) that fully engages others.

    If you apply wisdom and common sense to that accident, it’s easy to say it could or should have been avoided but, as I mentioned earlier, a mistake is something that has already occurred. You can’t turn back the clock.

    To help you on your journey to making decisions and choices that have less room for mistakes, I recommend that you consider the following resources.

    • Take the Values Preference Indicator so that you make decisions based on your core values, not on other people’s values or the emotions of the moment.
    • Sometimes mistakes are made when your confidence is not as high as it could be. To assist you in boosting our self-image, complete the Self Worth Inventory to establish your opportunities to fully engage life.
    • Your wellness levels highly influence your ability to make sound decisions. Fatigue and illness can make cowards of us all. To outline your stress level and general overall health habits, complete the Stress Indicator and Health Planner.

    Embrace your mistakes to move to the next level. Mistakes should never be a burden. Take what you have learned and use it. Your ability to contribute to society and to others will be richer for it.

    Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one’s mistakes.

    Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist, and poet 1854–1900

    Action Steps

    Your Mistakes: Gift or Burden?

    1. If you make no (or very few) mistakes, chances are you are not fully engaging life.
    2. Do you play it safe, to avoid mistakes at all costs? What is this approach really costing you in lost opportunities and fulfillment in your life?
    3. In what areas could you become more fully engaged in your life . . . to test the waters and learn a few new lessons?
    4. Do you focus on what you can learn from your mistakes? Why? Why not?
    5. How can you deepen the wisdom you have gained from your mistakes?
    6. Do you continue to repeat same mistakes over and over? If so, what are lessons are you missing from your past mistakes/experiences?
    7. Are you currently burdened by a past mistake? Self-pity and self-imposed misery are no benefit to anyone. What do you have to do to convert your mistake from a burden into a gift?
    8. Use the following CRG resources to reduce your mistakes and take ownership of past mistakes:
    9. Mistakes include things we did not do. Regretting that you did not do something and thinking what if are also mistakes. Are there examples of that thinking in your life? What lesson didn’t you learn?
    10. Do you view your mistakes as a gift to yourself and others—a means of deepening your wisdom, knowledge, and discernment? If not, why not?
    11. Think of how you can use your mistakes to help others in similar situations. Start immediately.

    Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!.

    Ken Keis

    NEW!!
    Why Don’t You Sell The Way That I Buy?™ eCourse

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    Nothing Happens Unless You Take Action https://crgleader.com/nothing-happens-unless-you-take-action/ Mon, 05 Jul 2021 21:18:11 +0000 https://crgleader.com/?p=11264

    Nothing Happens Unless You Take Action

    Action: The manner or method of performing; a thing done; the accomplishment of a thing usually over a period of time, in stages, or with the possibility of repetition; the most vigorous, productive, or exciting activity in a particular field, area, or group.

    I am shocked at people’s sincere surprise that their circumstances, condition, or outcomes have not changed when they have not taken action steps. You can have all the positive thoughts you want, but unless you take action, it is all meaningless.

    It does not matter how optimistically you frame your situation. If you don’t take any action steps to improve your condition, 99.9% of the time it will not change.

    Here are some examples.

    • You want to meet that someone special but you aren’t going out much or looking online.
    • You are wondering why your sales have not increased, but you are not contacting prospective clients about your product or service.
    • You want to improve your fitness level but, so far, you are only thinking about it. You are not moving off your couch to walk, run, play sports, or lift weights.
    • You want to invest in real estate but you aren’t investigating properties or attending training seminars.
    • You are thinking about writing a book. You haven’t decided to stop thinking and start writing!
    • You want to increase your workplace skills but you are not attending upgrade or development courses.
    • You want to earn more income but you have no secondary source of revenue outside of your job.

    It really doesn’t matter what is on your wish list. Unless you take action steps, nothing will happen.

    The adage talk is cheap rings true.

    Reduce the size of your wish list so you can more easily take some type of action on each item.

    Stop fooling yourself that you are already taking action. That erodes your credibility with others and with yourself. If something has been on your activity list for some time and you have not acted on it, take it off your list or park it until you are able or willing to take action steps to accomplish it. If it were REALLY important to you, would have acted on it by now.

    Sometimes, we harbour goals or desires that are not our own; they are the goals of others.

    I want you to challenge yourself to search deep inside to confirm that your goals list authentically reflects your true desires.

    Sometimes we don’t take action because we either have fear or we feel overwhelmed by the prospect of tackling the goal itself.

    Step back and confirm why you want to fulfill this goal—and what the payoff is for you, if you do achieve the goal.

    Learn to take baby steps (micro steps). They qualify as action.

    Engage at a pace that works for you, but make sure it is a forward motion, not backward.

    If you choose to keep something on your list, you get to determine your own action steps. It can be as simple as making a phone call to an organization that has the information you seek.

    Example: I was interested in taking the ultralight pilot training course. After waiting several years, I finally called a local flight school—only to discover that under Transport Canada Laws, a course graduate could not carry a passenger unless the graduate had an Instructor’s rating. The whole purpose of my goal was to fly with my kids or friends—social interaction as well as a flight experience. For years, I had wasted mental energy on a goal that was not reasonable. I should have taken the time to learn the basic details.

    I promptly parked that goal. However, Canadian flight laws have changed; you can now (with a few extra instruction hours) get a passenger-endorsed license. And further my son has his pilot license so as desired we can fly together.

    Action, as defined in this article, is any proactive movement that moves you toward your goal. It can be as simple as my ultralight research or booking appointments or writing out your strategy.

    What about you? Where have you talked the good talk but not taken any action?

    The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.
    Confucius 551 BC – 479 BC

    Motion or action is supported by confidence. Knowing yourself and your purpose increases your belief to engage and get going.

    The Quest For Purpose ecourse will greatly support you on your journey to taking action. As part of the process, we also recommend the following assessments, to give you a holistic picture.

    Action Steps

    Nothing Happens Unless You Take Action

    1. Are you a person who takes action or who only thinks about what you should do?
    2. If you are not taking action on some items, what are the reasons?
    3. Make a list of your primary goals and desires.
    4. Review your goal list carefully. Remove or park anything you can’t own 100% right now.
    5. Now look at what is left on your list. Are you taking action steps on all the items? Please confirm the status of each item.
    6. If you are not taking action steps on any of your goals, what can you do within the next few days to start creating momentum? Make your action list now. Ensure you are outlining the reasons or the benefits of your actions.
    7. Many individuals fail to take action because they try to do too much or they are overwhelmed by the complexity of the goal. If this is the case for you, take baby steps (micro steps). Pace yourself at a speed that works for you. Confirm that forward motion is occurring.
    8. Action means that regardless of the pace, the details of the next step have already been mapped out by you.
    9. Action comes from confidence. Make sure you are living on purpose. Individuals without purpose or direction can get frozen. Consider our ecourse The Quest For Purpose to start you on the right track.
    10. In the end, success is the result of doing something. Take action now and you will discover new-found motivation by doing, rather than just thinking.

    Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!.

     

    Ken Keis

    NEW!!
    Why Don’t You Sell The Way That I Buy?™ eCourse

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    Overcoming Your Fears https://crgleader.com/overcoming-your-fears/ Tue, 30 Mar 2021 18:59:33 +0000 https://crgleader.com/?p=13017

    Overcoming Your Fears

    Do you live your life in fear . . . or do you embrace the opportunities that are before you?

    What has fear cost you in lost productivity, peace of mind, and personal enjoyment?

    Certainly 2020 lead to the world living in fear. Nowhere else would you have a global event where there is over a 99% survival rate create so much fear. I witnessed and experience so many individuals who were so worried about dying that they were no longer living.

    This self-perpetuated condition of fear feeds on itself. Fear takes up an individual’s emotional space and their ability to think straight. Because of their fear, in many cases they no longer able to fulfill their normal responsibilities.

    Fear is a destructive force in people’s lives.

    There have been many acronyms for fear over the years but one that best describes fear to me is False Evidence Appearing Real. No matter what the truth might be, we allow the situation to manifest itself as fear in our minds.

    All of us will have fear at some time or another and at various levels in our lives. In fact, extreme-sport participants love the rush they feel when they are in that state of fear.

    But what about our day-to-day lives? Do you want to live in fear? If you do, how does fear affect your ability to make decisions and your enjoyment of life?

    Fear can range from a mild irritation to a state of complete paralyzation that prevents individuals from taking any action and moving forward.

    The good news about fear is that it resides only in your mind. The research on fear is interesting. It is estimated that 85% of the things that we fear are going to happen never actually materialize. So, the majority of the time, we are wasting our emotional energy worrying about nothing.

    Here are a few examples of fears or worries that generally never come about.

    • What if I get fired?
    • Maybe I’ll never find another job.
    • We’ll never find someone as good as she is for that job.
    • I’ll fail my exam if I . . .
    • My child will get involved with drugs.
    • I will die of . . . if I don’t . . .
    • I’ll miss my plane because . . .
    • Nobody will ever like me because . . .
    • What would others think if . . .

    Take a moment right now and think about the things you worried about in the past week. What kind of emotions did they stir up?

    Note: There are situations where your fear is as real as it can be. But even in those cases, it has been proven that people consumed by their fear were more likely to manifest what they feared most.

    There is a greater cost of letting yourself constantly live in fear. It is difficult, if not impossible, to focus on two things at once. Because you are focusing on fear, you are not seeing solutions. How can you embrace success, fun, and enjoyment when you are feeling anxious, fearful, or full of doubt?

    Here’s a word picture that shows how you can not – not think of something (sorry for the double negative), once it takes hold in your head.

    Example: You are on the golf course, ready to hit your final iron to get on the green. To the left is the next fairway; the center is the green; to the right is a water trap. I want you to not think about the water on the right while you shoot. You are to focus on the green—not the water. Just forget about the water for the moment and shoot.

    I know that is a simple example but you’ll find it’s impossible not to think about the water; you start to fear that you will drive your ball into it. Because you are not focusing 100% on the green as your objective, you reduce your probabilities of success.

    Many individuals get caught in water traps when the majority of the fairway is lush, green grass just waiting for your perfect shot.

    Life will generally bring us what we focus on. I’m sure most of you would prefer to avoid your worst fears so that means adjusting your focus to what you want—not what you don’t want or what you fear.

    As a strategy, borrow confidence and a positive attitude from other areas in your life where you have little or no fear. With my court case, I finally said enough is enough. I thought about the fact that I could speak in front of audiences of thousands of people without fear and simply transferred that confidence to the courtroom.

    One source of fear is the unknown. To help you on your journey of self-discovery, I am recommending our ecourse The Quest For Purpose a new interactive learning experience so you can live with confidence and clarity.

    Follow these Action Steps and complete the recommended resources to help you increase your confidence—and decrease your fear.

    Action Steps

    Overcoming Your Fears

    1. What are your fears? Think about all the things you worried about over the past week, month, or year.
    2. What are your fears costing you in terms of fulfillment and opportunity?
    3. Think about all the things you feared. What percentage of your fears have actually taken place and what percentage of your worrying was needlessly wasted energy?
    4. Can you confirm that the majority of your fears did not happen?
    5. If you reduced your fears, what would be the benefits for you?
    6. Fears reside in your mind; you are responsible for being able to shift your focus. If your fears actually manifested, what is the worst thing that could happen?
    7. Confident individuals know who they are and where they are going. To help you and others reduce fear, I encourage you to engage our new online course The Quest For Purpose.
    8. At this very moment, choose to focus on a goal, objective, or positive outcome. Do not allow fear to take over your mind.
    9. If you knew your efforts could not fail, what would you be doing? List those activities now.
    10. All of us will have some fear but the key is not to let fear rule or direct your life. Some fear, if under control, can heighten your emotional state and give you an edge. The key is to harness that energy.
    11. Just go for it or let it go—either way, notice how you enjoy your wonderful new fear-free moments.

    Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!.

     

    Ken Keis

    The Quest For Purpose eCourse
    is designed to Show You EXACTLY how to find Purpose in Life!

    Limited Time Offer!
    50% off
    Now only $195

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