How You Show Up Matters: Managing Impressions and Mastering Attention
Welcome back to Section Two: Interpersonal Communication Skills in the Transformational Leadership Series. In our last article, we focused on what’s happening inside—self-disclosure and managing internal perceptions. Now, we turn outward to how you show up, how you are perceived, and how well you give others your full attention.
Whether you realize it or not, you are always communicating. Your posture, tone, words, dress, and focus—all of it sends a message. Great leaders don’t leave this to chance. They are intentional about the impression they create and the presence they offer.
In this article, we explore:
- Skill 15: Impression Management (External) — I skillfully manage the impression others have of me through effective use of language, appropriate attire, and professional demeanor, ensuring that my behavior aligns with the desired image I wish to convey.
- Skill 16: Attending — I demonstrate control and focus by giving my undivided attention respectfully to others, actively listening and engaging in the present moment.
Let’s dig in.
Skill 15: Impression Management (External) — Aligning Perception with Purpose
What This Means
You never get a second chance to make a first impression—but in leadership, it’s not just the first impression that matters. It’s every impression.
Impression management is the intentional alignment of your external presentation—your appearance, language, tone, behavior, and body language—with the professional image you want to project. It’s not about being fake. It’s about being consistent and congruent with your values and goals.
This skill is especially crucial in leadership because people form opinions of your credibility, competence, and trustworthiness in a matter of seconds.
Why It Matters
Perception shapes influence. People often decide whether they will follow you long before you say your first word.
Leaders who manage impressions well:
- Are seen as credible, confident, and capable
- Command respect without demanding it
- Consistently reflect professionalism in any environment
I recall an individual coming to CRG for an interview, for a marketing position. As soon as he walked in (before we even said hello and shook hands), I eliminated him from the position. Why? He looked awful. Hair ungroomed, clothes not ironed and personal hygiene much to be desired. Clearly he was not aware of – nor did he care about impression management.
When you manage your external image with integrity, you communicate leadership before you even speak.
How to Implement
- Be Aware of Non-Verbal Cues: Your body language, posture, and eye contact all speak loudly. Use them intentionally.
- Dress for Impact: Your appearance should match the environment and the expectations of those you’re leading. When in doubt, elevate your standard.
- Use Language that Aligns with Who You Are: Speak with clarity and confidence. Avoid filler words and negative self-talk, especially in public settings.
- Personal Hygiene and Appearance: Yes, brush your teeth, iron your clothes, wear clean cloths and have a shower!
- Be Consistent Across Contexts: Your presence should reflect the same professionalism whether you’re on stage, in a Zoom call, or at a coffee shop with a colleague.
- Being Appropriate: Sorry no rude jokes, foul language or demeaning comments. Just this week, I was at an event and the speaker constantly used foul language. Unfortunately, her expertise was voided because she did not manage her impression. But get this she was a brand development specialist – Ironic right!
When your external image aligns with your internal values, people trust you faster and follow you farther.
Skill 16: Attending — Giving the Gift of Full Attention
What This Means
Attending is the ability to be fully present with others—to listen with your body, mind, and heart. It’s about being intentionally attentive, not just hearing words, but truly engaging with the person in front of you.
In a world full of distraction, giving someone your undivided attention is both rare and powerful. And for a leader, it is a differentiator that builds trust and influence.
Why It Matters
People know when you’re truly present—and they know when you’re not. When a leader offers focused attention, it communicates:
- Respect and value
- Emotional safety
- Trustworthiness and care
Leaders who attend well build stronger teams, resolve conflict more effectively, and cultivate deep engagement.
How to Implement
- Eliminate Distractions: Put away your phone, silence notifications, and close your laptop during conversations.
- Use Intentional Body Language: Lean in, maintain eye contact, and use facial expressions that reflect understanding.
- Mentally Commit to the Moment: Set aside other concerns and focus completely on the person or conversation in front of you.
- Practice Patience: Don’t interrupt or rush people. Give them space to express themselves fully.
Attending is one of the simplest ways to increase your leadership impact—and one of the most overlooked. Mastering it sets you apart.
Final Thoughts: Show Up Intentionally, Lead Powerfully
Impression management and attending work hand-in-hand. One shapes how you’re perceived; the other shapes how others feel when they’re with you. Together, they enable you to:
✔ Project credibility and integrity
✔ Build connection and trust
✔ Lead with intentional presence
In our next article, we’ll expand your relational toolkit by diving into:
- Skill 17: Observing
- Skill 18: Suspending
These two will equip you to better understand others and lead with thoughtful discernment.
You’re building powerful momentum—keep going. 🚀
Until next time, Keep Living On Purpose!
PS. Stay tuned to your opportunity to pre-register for the Online Transformational Leadership Course. That link will be available soon. To bench your (or others) leadership skills, access our Leadership Skills Inventory-Self or LSI-360′.