Are You Living an Authentic or a Fake Life?

Authentic: Worthy of acceptance or belief; based on fact not false or imitation; real: actual; true to one’s personality, spirit, or character

Fake: To alter, manipulate, or treat to give a spuriously genuine appearance; counterfeit; concoct; pretend; a worthless imitation passed off as genuine; impostor; charlatan

Are you REALLY living an authentic life?

Have you ever faked it to impress others or conformed to a group, just to please others?

Do you know individuals who are acting like people they are not?

How can you know the real person inside? The reality is, you can’t!

If life is one charade after another, it becomes impossible to determine what is real and what is pretend.

One woman told a story of inviting couples from an “IN” group over to her home for a BBQ. Before she knew it,

• her menu went from hot dogs to steak;
• she went from leaving her home “as is,” to cleaning it for 2 days;
• she was stressing over the look of her outdoor furniture, so she bought new stuff—that she did not need and could not afford.

By the time the couples arrived, she resented the fact that this event was even happening and hated the entire evening. Yet she was the one who invited them in the first place. Can anyone relate?

We see this type of shallow behavior in Hollywood regularly. Recently, several famous individuals revealed that living that way has consequences. They were not grounded and centered in who they are; they were fakes—and their lives went out of control.

Living authentically has relevance for everyone.

Living authentically in your day-to-day activities will have you living on purpose with passion. If you are not, you are living in a counterfeit world that will become a worthless imitation.

Let me outline what I mean.

1. First, dump this thinking—Fake it till you make it. It’s shallow and concocted. That doesn’t mean you can’t stretch, grow, develop, and improve yourself. It just means be real along the way.
2. To envision the future the way you want it to be requires acknowledging your current state.
   When the woman in the story purchased furniture she could not afford, was she faking it or being an impostor? Why are there so many bankruptcies, especially in North America? People fake it right into a debt load they cannot handle.
3. Stop pretending to be someone you are not. In high school, we called that peer pressure. Rather than being self-centered or self-absorbed, be honest with yourself and your preferences in life.
   As a business consultant for over 30 years, I am amazed at how many team members in a work situation will not be authentic in meetings or in their interactions with their co-workers. They outwardly pretend that everything is okay, but it is not.Use your discretion. Don’t whine about everything that doesn’t meet your needs, but stop representing fake positions or thoughts. They don’t benefit anyone—especially you.
   If you are not being authentic, you will feel some level of discomfort or you will become miserable. That’s not being fair to yourself or others.

    

   It’s possible you might not be able to change a problem situation, but you can at least be true to yourself. Don’t underestimate how important that is to your well-being and passion.

4. Not being authentic is a cancer of your soul. Once you compromise your personal integrity, you erode your peace of mind and personal energy.Have you ever met someone who was into pleasing everyone except himself? Even though he did not want to, he repeatedly said Yes, not No, to outside requests or demands. That is not living authentically.

   I have encountered many such individuals and they are generally unhappy and even misrepresent their happiness level. There is nothing admirable about that type of behavior.

5. To fully enjoy and engage your life necessitates that you live authentically. Your ability to contribute increases in proportion to your level of authenticity!

To assist you on your journey to being authentic, I recommend the following CRG resources. Our tools allow you to become fully involved in the process so you can define your preferred and desired future, while comparing your current condition to your authentic self!

• The Quest For Purpose
• Personal Style Indicator
• Self-Worth Inventory
• Stress Indicator and Health Planner
• Values Preference Indicator

It is impossible to be completely authentic unless you can clearly describe what that means to you in all the areas of your life.

ACTION STEPS

Are You Living an Authentic or a Fake Life?

1. Are you currently living your life authentically? How would people who know you respond to this question?
2. In what areas of your life do you need to be more real? List them now.
3. What has it cost you when you have not been real with yourself? Frustration, unhappiness, reduced personal energy . . . ?
4. What are some of the root causes of you not being authentic? Fear, insecurity, lack of confidence, avoiding rejection, trying to impress others. . .?
5. Fake it till you make it is a shallow, outdated concept. Be real, then move toward your goals and dreams and don’t misrepresent yourself on the way. Don’t be a fraud or an impostor.
6. You are not doing anyone a favor by allowing him or her to be a fake to you or others. The reality is that denying the truth only lets the situation fester and create a potentially more serious issue in the future.
7. Stop trying to be someone you are not.
8. Be clear about who you are and what your passions are. That way, you can truly live an authentic life.
9. These CRG resources will contribute to your authentic journey.The Quest For Purpose will give you the roadmap and processes to confirm what is most important to you in all areas of your life.
   
   I also recommend . . .

• Personal Style Indicator
• Self-Worth Inventory
• Stress Indicator and Health Planner
• Values Preference Indicator

  To improve their circumstances, victims believe they must wait for others to act—which might never happen. Alternatively, taking personal responsibility can happen this very instant, providing you the opportunity to improve and more forward.

Until next time, keep Living On Purpose!.

Ken Keis