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Kind: Having feeling befitting our common nature; congenial, sympathetic, showing tenderness, goodness, benevolence, graciousness, or gentleness
Happy: Experiencing pleasure or joy; satisfied: enjoying well-being and contentment
Over the past 30 years – I’ve been able to modify my intense Personal Style that was not always seen as kind. Even though I still have opportunities to improve – today, I am more kind.
What about you?
Are you kind?
How happy are you?
This short survey may help!
Please answer each of the following 4 questions on a scale of 1 to 10:
- How kind are you? 1 is not kind; 10 is very kind.
- How happy are you? 1 is not happy; 10 is very happy.
- Relative to your peers, are you less kind or more kind?
- Relative to your peers, are you less happy or happier?
Look at your responses to the 4 questions.
Do you see room for improvement?
Questions similar to the above were used in an international study that linked kindness, happiness, and gratitude to satisfaction and performance in daily lives.
Conducted in Japan, the research confirms that kind and happy individuals have highly satisfying relationships, both personally and professionally, and more positive interaction with people and events. That translates into higher performance and achievement.
Before we get into the Action Steps and ways we can shift our mindset, let’s look at an example of the opposite behavior . . . the antithesis of kind and happy.
This week while returning an item at a retail store, the elderly gentleman in front of me was abusive toward staff and the store manager – because they would not give in to his demands to fully refund his purchase price of a product after owning it for over a year. Even though they offered to provide a full in store credit he still conducted himself in aggressive unkind manner. When it came to my return they also would or could not meet what I needed thought we worked out what was possible. It was other hour of my time and an addition trip but I remained kind. I decided to have fun with them and question policy with a smile.
Upon my return the same staff member was on the service counter and I had some fun with her. I had her laughing by the end with her apologizing for the company policy that required all this extra effort.
It was clear that the individual in front of me was not happy and very stressed because he was unkind.
I use this statement to assess a person’s conduct: “How you act anywhere is how you will act everywhere.” The odds of that man being easy to deal with in business were not high.
Research has proved strong links between kindness and happiness.
- If a person is kind, he or she is likely happy.
- If a person is unkind, he or she is likely unhappy.
Research conducted by the University of Cambridge and Plymouth in the UK verifies that kindness is contagious. When given, kindness is caught by others and passed on.
Your act of kindness does not stop at one single event; it has a multiplying effect.
Kindness toward others has another benefit; it’s called elevation. Individuals who experience kindness and/or witness kind acts have elevated feelings for helping or supporting others. In other words, their willingness levels go up in response to direct or indirect acts of kindness.
For the most part, when leaders, managers, parents, or individuals in authority lead in an unkind manner, they decrease their group’s willingness to fulfill requests and goals—which is opposite to the desired effect. That basic common sense has been verified by research.
We can make the link between kindness and happiness intentional.
Take a moment to think about the most unhappy person you know, then reflect on his kindness quotient. He might not act mean but he is likely indifferent and does not demonstrate kindness toward others.
Now I am not suggesting that every interaction will be an over-the-top act of super-kindness. In some cases, firm and direct responses are appropriate. Our general kindness and happiness levels, however, are directly linked to the overall joy and fulfillment we have in our life.
I opened this article by saying I have shifted to become kinder in my interactions with others. In the past, I was generally happy with my life except when suppliers or providers let us down in business. I would become unkind, fast, because I was unhappy with people who did not deliver what they promised.
Being kind to others does not release individuals and organizations from their responsibilities, but I found that if I was grounded in being kind and happy, I actually got better results.
You can choose the mindset of kindness and happiness. If you want to improve your happiness, be kinder and be grateful. Your wellness, satisfaction, performance, and accomplishments are linked to your kindness and happiness.
Let me ask again . . .
- Are you kind?
- Are you happy?
- What would others say?
Action Steps
It’s Time to Be Kind and Happy!
- Are you kind? Why? Why not? What would others say?
- Are you happy? Why? Why not? What would others say?
- Think about a time when someone was kind to you. How did you feel?
- Do you have a grateful attitude? Kindness and gratitude are directly linked to our happiness levels. Would others say you are grateful?
- In what area(s) of your life could you show more kindness? Think of opportunities right now where you could be kinder. Take action this week to implement a new level of kindness toward others.
- Pay attention to the responses of others and to your own feelings when you increase your acts of kindness toward others.
- Make a list of all the things you are thankful for.
- Keep the list handy on a mobile device or notepad.
- Review it daily until reading it becomes a habit.
- Whenever you feel down, unhappy, or ungrateful, immediately review your list.
- Clarify your values and style using CRG’s
Values Preference Indicator and Personal Style Indicator. They will help you feel happier by showing you how to play to your strengths. - Read Why Aren’t You More Like Me?™to understand your tendencies and to be equipped to help people apply their strengths and realize their potential.
- Enjoy the benefits of your own kind and grateful spirit along the way.
- Witness the positive impact your happy spirit has on people’s lives as your kindness multiplies downstream.
- Do it now! Choose to be happy today. Create a new level of kindness and gratitude. Trust me. You’ll feel better, instantly!
Until next time, keep Living On Purpose.
Ken Keis
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